Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How does it feel to date your dad?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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