Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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