For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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