You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
