This is not my ceiling
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
