BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
