i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
