things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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