My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
