NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
