New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
