wrigley field is MILF paradise
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
