In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
