If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
