very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
