you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nutella sex= disaster
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
