Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
