Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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