is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
one two three fourrrrnication!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize