We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
