i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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