i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize