This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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