Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
