you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
