My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
