Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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