For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
