What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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