If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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