I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
