I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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