just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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