It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
