I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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