He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The uberlube is also flammable
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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