I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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