Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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