i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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