oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
