So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
