Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
