Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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