It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
