escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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