I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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