this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
