why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
