dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
