Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
