Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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