She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
