just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
