dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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