It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You may now shotgun with the bride
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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