Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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