i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I didn't notice because vodka
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
