Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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