the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
