I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize