so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
