My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
