I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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