I CAN MOONWALK!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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