so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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