HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I want to fling myself into the sun
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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