all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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